An Erotica Writer: Am I?

The dreams keep coming back to me. They are not dreams off my deep thinking nor of my wild desires. To me they are overworked manifestation of imagination, not mine, but flung off of dark spans in universe; eventually snowballing its way into my subconscious. Now I could have been left with some sparing peace if I were to live only in conscious of its fact unlike the present circumstance of distracting visualizations of it too.

Like a nightmare ought to be rid of, I frustrated myself to be rid of these unduly fetched dreams. Would you be wanting a peek at this point?! Before I let you in on the details of interest, I try to reinstate the fact that no character or happenings in the dreams had been brought up by myself in my active conscious ever before their occurrence.

The dream is constantly about one particular guy whom I know of IRL. He becomes my romantic beau in the dream’s plot who does care overmuch about me, right by the ideality of a male partner that fictitious characters set us up for. We are seemingly a cosy thing of two and showing off a touch of spice, chemistry, glam and hotness too. In one of the incidental scenes he drives me around and we are twinning in skinny black sweatshirts (TMI?!).

With it rests all the details I have to give you of the recurrent dreams. There now let me tell you, as I was having these visions I didn’t feel the romance of it, Sorry! I could have, to the least extent for the romantic within me, but mostly I had to grapple with ‘what the preposterous doozy’. Since the guy in cast could be related as an arse respectfully, and all the while we had known him in college he could have never bought our amity, presumably he is a laughable cast choice rather is this any likely conceptualization of us.
Although a likely hypocrisy crops right here- what if the guy is to be dashing which shall be what meets the eyes first, then aren’t we all bang in the face of tempations- punnily?!

[ALERT: Note here that you shall proceed to read on, only if you (might/could) have been a similar superficial hypocritic as in descript above. I don’t positively see you digesting this read otherwise.

Though if you are reading still, aren’t you one too?! GO ON, my blessing lies then.]  

Now, we were at- the guy is temptatious?! Yes, guy has got a bod besides, fair in skin and money bags too, not that I am a gold digger anyway but to help cover up his arse of a personality, I tell you. He could best be the model next door, not a real one though, the unworded lookalike of the neighbourhood. So when in a romcom, he would be the male officiant of romance caught up in his glorified ego yet taken with young and old females alike by the virtue of his propitious status. His luck begets luck that he eventually settles for the gold of maiden who is kindest at heart whilst a cultured contributor to the society. Misfortune becomes hers though, she gets lured into the plot of bad-boy-best-romance when she has been a characteristically controlled woman who is ever grounded in morality until their union not without a tumult.

Let’s toy with the boy already- kill, marry, hookup thus play. I went in want to meditate so hard on the matter. So I may be shucked out of the drama in frequency, possibly from effect of overexertion. And to think of the means for an execution like it, I blundered into this idea eventually, good for me. I figured that if I could expend the scope of this dream to the point of shredding itself, I shall get past it obviously. I called in my friend to hear her opinion as well and she sounded to have been surprised creatively, I wonder. Thence began the risqué write-away.

I own, landing this idea cannot be much serendipitous actually and could have been prompted by a certain chapter in the book, THINK AND GROW RICH. Yes, reading the chapter of ‘The Mystery of Sex Transmutation’ must have been influential to connote its theory whilst conceiving the image of an erotic writer for myself. The theory claims that sexual drive could alternately be channeled out as a superlative output that goes beyond the gratification of bodies if we shall mentally divert our urges all into an idea convincing otherwise.

Then I get down to work on formulating the best fusion of FIFTY SHADES with THINK AND GROW RICH for its principle. In doing so, could I be validated as an Erotic Writer, I cannot say. But I have been observant of the indirect societal notions I can pick up on- discussing female sexuality with fellow female readers or learning a thing or two of the male perspective in making intimacy. For such observations and more I can forward my interest at work on the erotic series that could be subscribed for on Wattpad under the title ‘RAGE, RAVISH AND REST (R RATED)’.